When I am Weak...

This week has been one of "those weeks". Nothing seems right. The sun maybe shinning outside, but inside in my heart the clouds have covered the sun and I struggle to see through the tunnel.

I think about the things I'm not doing and should be doing. There are the things I am doing, but I shouldn't be doing.

I get up. I don't reach for the Bible first. I reach for other things that I want to do. They take too long and soon there is no time for the Bible. Then the day is over and I'm trying to figure out what I did, besides simply breathing, eating, talking, and eating some more.

Honestly I'm not really living a picture perfect Christan life. Instead I'm in Pilgrim's Progress and wallowing away in the pit of despair. I can't be used of God this way. I'm acting too dreadful to be considered to be of any good use.

Suddenly without warning I'm asked to do a task...to help someone along. Why did they think of me I wonder? Why is God giving me this opportunity? I don't think there is anyone more imperfect that could be used.

"He uses the weak things"

When I am weak He is strong. Reaching into the dirt of my life God washes it with grace and uses me for His glory alone. Thinking upon this is like opening a gift on Christmas morning, its too wonderful and glorious to be forgotten.

I go to memorize the verse from Sunday school that we as a church are memorizing together.

  

 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
        and why are you in turmoil within me?
    Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
        my salvation and my God.
    (Psalm 42:5)

The words are a balm to my soul and I know that God gave them to me at that very moment as a gift. 

Someone leaves me a note of encouragement. I want to shun the words, they were surely not meant for a person such as I. Again they are a testimony of God's grace.

I read these words on a blog and I think this lady has just described my own heart. It's in the moments where we are stripped down to nothing of our own being that we realize how much we need a great God.

So undeserved, such a wanderer, such a great sinner, but God is such a great God. I'm so thankful for all of the low moments of this week, because in those moments God blessed me and taught more then I ever deserved.