another year

Written May 24

 

I was asked today if life got better the older I got. I had to say yes, because with each passing year it seems I find a new way to find joy in life. Optimistic I am not, but I hope not pessimistic either. Just a realist.

In truth life has gotten more painful. Sorrow seems to more plentiful. The ache is stronger and the hurt stings even more each year.

Call me crazy, but I still say that life is getting better not worse. It seems the pain comes more often, but it also seems I notice the grace more and more with each passing year. I know that the pain will be accompanied by joy.

I've been 5 foot 3 inches for the past 7 years, yet I'm still having growing pains. Growth spurts brought on by God bringing things into my life that He wants to use to make me more like Him.

I don't want to ever dread getting older. Each year I want to anticipate the adventures God is going to bring. I don't want to worry over the "what ifs", but trust fully in His strength and guidance. I don't want to find my own hiding spot for the storm, but let God take me through it under His protection. I don't want to try and hide my sin from God, but let His forgiveness and mercy cover me.

Just because a date on the calender has turned me a year older, doesn't mean I've matured out of old problems. I'm still the girl that says the wrong words too easily. Obnoxiously giggles and gets frustrated over little things. I'm still the girl that God out of His great mercy bestowed grace too.  Do I need another reason to live?

 I don't know what the next year is to be. It could be the ugliest one ever for all I know, but there is no need to fear because there will be just enough grace every situation.

"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

I would be a fool to not believe in these words, but to be realistic my thoughts and actions may show other wise. Sometimes I falter, but not for long because I can't help but remember the wondrous love and grace that is conforming me.

Me thinks it will be beautiful year.