A Christmas Card

My dad wrote our family's Christmas letter this year and it was quite nice. However soon I will be responsible for writing Christmas letters, so I thought I would write a little letter of my own for practice.

Christmas break had slipped by too fast and all too soon I was returning for my second semester of my freshman year at school. I did not want to go back and write more papers, but, sometime you know you have to do something even if you don't want too. There would have been so many adventures I would have missed had I not left my home and gone back to school.

There are too many inside jokes and frustrations to mention here. I'll never forget Sundays in the car driving the 3 hour round trip to church with a very cute engaged couple and whoever the poor soul was that was our chauffeur. Let's just say the conversation often found its way to very interesting topics.

The hard thing about being away at school is you miss the goings on back home. I wept the death of a dear man in our church while very far away from home.

Spring break was pure bliss, thanks to the graciousness of my cousins I spent the 5 days in the NE sand hills. I cooked and baked up a storm and emptied the pantry of several items. Right in the middle of the fun my brother called...he was with one of my bestest girlfriends'. And as it happened the two of them had turned into a pair:)

Spring banquet came and went before I knew it I was flying all by my very own self back to KS. I made the most of my little journey in the airport by ridding the "moving pathway" very many times. Airports are so fascinating you know for people watching.

Summer...well it seemed like I blinked and it was gone. I'm afraid it was a bit of a hard summer for several reasons, but, that is another story for another time. The one thing I will say God's grace is always enough and it amazing how God uses the worst of the mistakes for our sanctification.

August was the best mouth by far; well the first two weeks anyway. I helped my aunt take care of my two cousins which meant we entertained them by doing lots and lots of shopping and lots and lots of cooking. Oh yes than there was all the ice cream we ate, but, we will just keep that our secret about how many cookies and bowls of ice cream consumed.

All too soon I was flying away on a jet plan for school again. I was pleased to not be the homesick little girl this semester, but, instead a Junior in the largest class at school. Too really know what happened last semester at school you would have to read my journal. I'm afraid though that will never happen:) One of the things I learned though was how not to make a pot of coffee!

The biggest highlight of the year has been my roommate. When the lights our off and no one else is around we chatter about anything and everything. Sometimes it even pertains to school! My roommate really has been one of the biggest blessings of this year especially on the many nights we pray together before retiring.

Just a few days before completing the semester I received two phone calls. Mom called early in the morning telling me at last my uncle's battle with cancer was over and he was with his savior. I knew the call had been coming, but, it still was a shock. I had been waiting for the second call too, but, I had no idea it that it would come the day of my uncle's home going. My brother called and didn't waste any time telling me he was a engaged man. Yes the same brother I mentioned earlier,so, I cried twice in one day for two very different reasons.

Another year has come and gone. I cannot comprehend the many ways God has given grace and blessings to this undeserving soul. Lord willing this time next year I will be five months from graduating and than I don't know what:) Thankfully God does and I have complete trust that He will show me His will my only fear is that I will not follow it.

The Day I Made a Pot of Coffee

Back in the old days when I was a stupid college freshman and knew hardly anything I made up mind that coffee would not be part of my daily routine. I managed to stick to my resolution all through that freshmen year with a few exceptions and consequently fell asleep in class far too many times. Being all the wiser as a upperclassman this year I faithfully drink a cup of coffee every morning. Than I brush my teeth and rinse with mouthwash three times because I cannot stand to have coffee breath. But I digress.

One morning I walked into the dinning hall half asleep as usual and to my horror the coffee pot was empty. I decided right than and there to be the hero of the day and make coffee. That was my first mistake. The second was that I reused the coffee from the previous pot and hence made brown flavored water. Nobody was very happy with my mistake and its a miracle that I am here to recount this story. I vowed never to make a pot of coffee again.

However I never told anybody my vow, so nobody knew the morning I broke my vow. Oh but the entire student body found out about my second pot of coffee. This time I made sure to get fresh coffee and follow the directions to the letter of the law.
Yes I know we walk by the spirit not the law, but sometimes you have to follow the law, but I digress.
The directions said to put in 5 scoops, so I obediently measured out 5 scoops. It really seemed like an awful lot of coffee. The measuring cup was a 2/3 scoop after all. However the directions said 5 scoops and everyone was always complaining about how weak the coffee was, so I was determined not to disappoint anybody and make a extra special pot. You might wonder why I didn't ask somebody about how to make the coffee, but you must remember this was before coffee and I'm really not all that awake in the morning.

Well the coffee brewed resulting in darkest black triple times triple espresso. The homiletic students promised to use the story as illustration in their sermons. I decided to never touch the coffee pot again, not even with a ten foot poll.

By the way the coffee was perfect...mixed with half water and milk.

Hope

Several years ago one of my uncle's was diagnosed with brain cancer and died a year later. I was just 14, but, it all seemed so harsh and wrong. I found it hard to watch my aunt still so vibrant and young grieving her husband. The twin brother of my uncle who's pain was deep for losing the brother who had been formed together with him in the womb.

The little grandchildren were so tiny, hardly even aware of what was going on. The many grandchildren that came since then who will never know their grandpa. My cousins were just young adults, some not even married. They are all married now, but the weddings happened without their father.

Every family gathering seemed to have a painful reminder that my uncle wasn't there, but, we moved on rejoicing in the hope of eternal life.

Than just 18 months ago the twin brother of my uncle came down with cancer. Suddenly it was happening all over again; the pain and tears that could only be understood completely by our family. It seemed like insult was being added to injury.

The world would say this is so wrong and absolutely ludicrous for our family to go through this again.

From the Bible we know God's plan is perfect and good. Therefore the death of both of my uncles was not a mistake, but, just part of the plan of a very loving and all knowing God.

[8] Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
[9] Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
[10] The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
(Psalm 34:8-10 ESV)

My uncles, also twin brothers, are buried beside each other now, however, they are not laying in a cold grave. The twins separated for over 6 years are now together once again for all eternity. We are left on earth to mourn their loss and to anticipate some day being together as family again with our Lord.

[17] Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.
(1 Thessalonians 4:17 ESV)

Tears of Joy

I was getting ready as usual Friday morning. As usual I was half asleep and could barely see to put on mascara. Than my phone rang...I ran to pick it up and when I heard my mom's voice I was already crying. The news I knew was coming was here. My uncle after battling cancer for 18 months had finished the fight and now with his Savior. Exhausted from the end of the semester the tears came out easily.

I wept because the father of my cousins was gone, the charming romantic husband of my aunt was gone, the playful and loving grandpa of his grandchildren was gone, my dad's little brother was gone, and my uncle was gone.

I wept because my uncle was now with his mother, now with his two brothers, and most importantly He was with his Saviour.

I was not weeping as without hope for there was very much hope.

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
(1 Corinthians 15:54; 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 ESV)

Nothing

Sometimes...much more often than I ever would like to admint...I find myself working with all my might to obtain perfection in God's sight. Because I have forgotten that the bad things I do that nobody knows about, the thoughts that creep into my mind that are never spoken, the things that make so ashamed to see myself as a child of a Holy God, these unlawful deeds cannot and willnot change the way God percieves me.

“God saves by sheer grace, he cannot be manipulated by moral performance.”
Justin Buzzard

No matter how much my mind tries to lie, telling me that God does not love me. That is a lie not of the truth of the Word of God that is setting me free.

[33 ] Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. [34 ] Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. [35 ] Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? [36 ] As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
[37 ] No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. [38 ] For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, [39 ] nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:33-39 ESV)

What I'm Thankful For

People have asked a lot what I'm thankful for. Pretty much I always give the same answer..."my family". However there is more to the story than just being thankful for my parents and siblings. This year I'm thankful for where I'm born in my family. It's an odd thing to be thankful for, but if you knew how ungrateful I used to be about my position in the birth order you would understand.

Our family goes like this; first came my two sisters than several years later came my 3 brothers, all about 4 years apart. Than when my mom's youngest was 6 when I was born. The oldest in our family was 21 one and just a few weeks away from marrying her best friend. I have absolutely no memories of my older sisters living at home, my other sister was married when I was 2.

I grew older and older, my other brother married and the nieces and nephews began coming in droves. I wished very hard that I had been a twin so there would be a companion for me as my brothers began leaving home. Suddenly when I was 14, I was a only child.

Something that is very funny is that I don't consider myself from a big family because I never remember us all being home together. I always wondered where I should fit myself in, with the nieces and nephews or my siblings? So, I began to long that I was from a "normal" family.

I did that until I saw how silly it was. I realized I had siblings who had far more years of experience than I, so I could could glean advice from them. I even had twice as many siblings because of my siblings in laws. As for little brothers and sisters? I've got 21 nieces and nephews, and counting:)

So that is why in every many words that I'm thankful for being the youngest in a very spread out family. I'm so thankful for God who puts us in just the right family:)

[16] Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:16 ESV)

This Baby

A tiny little baby, with tiny toes and fingers, a baby that makes so little noise, but sometimes a lot. He has handsome head of reddish hair.

This baby, my brother's first son, my parent's 21st first grandchild, my nephew, is our biggest Thanksgiving blessing.

Very Proud Grandparents

Adoring Sisters

This baby may not know it yet, but he is loved very, very much.

Pictures by Mom