Dependence

When is it I'm going to stop I wonder. The endless cycle of trying and trying. I see things in my life that should be wash down the drain permanently.

I try very hard to stop. Very Hard. I get frustrated. Very Frustrated. Give in to what I know is wrong and give up something that is far more precious

Rinse. Repeat.

Rinse. Repeat.

The struggle that haunts you. It's like a creepy stalker whispering in your ear that your never going to be perfect. Never going to get it right. Never ever will you to be all you strive to be. You can't be that person. Do that thing. Live that life.

We need to realize that. We can't do it. Perfection will never obtained. Ever.

The cycle stops. I give up. And its wonderful.

Grace. Beautiful grace. Saying I can't do it anymore is the most freeing words that can ever be uttered.

I need His strength. I need His Mercy. I need His Grace. Utter dependence on God is where I need to be. 

Dependence. Beautiful Dependence. Independence enslaves me. Dependence frees me. Ironic? God made it that way. Ask Him why it is. I want to choose dependence. My heart wants to choose Independence. My heart and I battle until I'm so weak that that I run to dependence like a thirsty runner on a hot day.

And I rest in His strength and the world is beautiful again. 

"He giveth more Grace"