In small group at church we have been talking about lots of very good stuff, but last night we talked about the sin of discontentment.
Yes I said sin.
Discontentment in my definition is being dissatisfied for who God is. Really when we want something to change we want God to be doing something different and even opposite of his character. We fail to see what God is doing in our lives through that situation.
There was the year where over and over my mom told me what was going on in my life was God preparing me for the road ahead, but I didn't want it.
I didn't want to watch my grandma die.
Every time I went to her room in our house I couldn't take a breath till I saw the rise and fall of grandma's chest. Then I was assured she was still with us. Sometimes I still get an odd feeling whenever I see someone sleeping soundly and I before I know it I'm checking to see if they are breathing.
During that year of watching grandma's health fail I was dissatisfied with God. I didn't see Him as good and thought if He indeed were good He would removed the situation. I didn't understand because God was good He was taking me through the trial to teach me His grace.
Some would say that I just a teenager should have been sheltered from the reality of aging and dying. Grandma should have stayed in care facility and we could have brought her flowers on the weekends and the nurse would tell us when something was wrong.
Those people are wrong. A few short months of my life. Sometimes awful painful days of learning to see the joy. Would it not been better if I could have simply been a happy carefree high school graduate?
No it would not have. The lessons would never would have been learned. Who knows how even more painful life could have been if I had not simply worked out some crucial things about my view of God.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.(Romans 8:28-30 ESV)
Those words are the essence of why God does things in our lives we may not understand at the time.
"to be conformed to the image of his son"
I didn't understand it then, but I do now. God was good during that year of tears, unknown, fear, frustration, uncalled for anger, and hopelessness.
He held His child close and would not let her escape His teaching. She balked and even sinned, but in the end it was the Father in His mercy who prevailed drying the tears with His comfort. The storm still raged, but the child knew the safety and care of her Father's arms.
My mom was right you know I can see now what God was doing and whenever now I feel like I can't see I just remind myself..."God works all things together for good".
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