Dear Me.

Dear teenage me,

Oh what a time of life you are in, suddenly discovoring that life has adventure to it, but with adventure often comes pain. Right now you probably long for the next thing. Hoping that it will be bigger and betteer. Can you be convinced that life is wonderful right where you are because that is where God has placed you?

Grandma has just moved into the basement of your own house and I know you aren't sure if you like this change. You want to go to grandma's house not have her house be at your house all the time. Would you believe it if I told you that having grandma live with you is going to be one of the most life changing shaping experiences of your life? Would you be able to fathom the fact that even is as grandma grows weaker and weaker she will teach you more about God by her actions then her words? The days are going to be long, but one morning you will wake to find that grandma has gone to be with Jesus and you will rejoice for her gain, but mourn for your loss.You will always be thankful for the special way you grew to know your grandmother.

One thing I know upsets you is your family. You want little brothers and sisters and you think it would be nice to have older siblings that aren't often mistaken for your parents. You think your family isn't normal and you long for other things that seem so much better. I wonder have you ever thought about the fact that according to the world's standards you shouldn't have ever been born? Realize that because your siblings are so much older you have been given a whole treasure chest of information. I know you want to turn up your nose at your big brothers and sisters, but in a few years you will regret doing so and realize how much they have cared for and loved their little sister. Perhaps now they may seem to be just older siblings, but it would be easier for you now if you were grateful for the treasures God gave you.

Your probably wondering too why you are more like the grandchild of your parents then a actual child. Well my dear self its because that's how God in His perfect sovereignty meant it to be and really there is no other way to explain it. Maybe it is somewhat strange and odd for your parents to get the senior discount, but realize now that life with older parents is really quite grand.

Life right now maybe seems like a set circemstances that doesn't make the least bit of sense. Sometimes you may wonder why you even excist. You are struggling with the fact that God does really love you even if you have gone against his commands. God's grace is hard for you to grasp and it doesn't seem like it should be so free to you. There are the days when more things seem to have gone wrong then right. You are wishing and longing for something better and you are sure when that something better comes life will be better.

Let me tell you this. Life is going to get better and even more wonderful then you ever could have thought. I must apolgize now because I'm going to contradict myself. Life is also going to get more horrible then you ever could have imaigained. Horrible and wonderful can go in the same sentance, because the God your struggling to trust in now will always be in conthrol. Every single day you are going to be able thank him for his blessings, even when it seems like there are few to count.

Understand this, its your view of God that is going to affect everything. Your mother tells you this, but I know you don't believe her. Really it is true when you cannot see God as a gracious God and a very good God who is always in control, life will seem terrible.

Maybe you think that you cannot wait till you are in your twenties because by then surely you will have life nicely put together. Unfortunately no you will still be learning very much from God. Here is a little secret though. Age gives you the ability to look back at life and to see how God is working. Trust me it will make better since of why just exactly everything happened the way it did. Those struggles and tears you will know were the tools used by God to shape your life.

Right now the struggles may seem toilsome and it may seem that no one understands your problems. Trust me I haven't forgotten how sometimes you cried yourself to sleep. Know the pain is what will grow you. Know that it is for your benefit to grow in God's Word now. When you get older your not going to regret it. Know that the more you understand God and His ways the better your life will be.

Yours Truely,

Your 22 year old self

I wrote this post for the dear me: letter to your teenage self link up. I wrote the words, because I myself needed to hear them and because other girls in are the chaos of teenage craziness might read my humble advice.