hard floors and thinking

I slept on a hard floor last night. I think the only thing that could have been harder is concrete. I was cold too because there weren't very many blankets. I was out of sorts too because I didn't have all the things I needed to get ready for the night.

My back aches right now and I could hardly think today because my brain doesn't do well on a few short moments of sleep.

All because of a silly snow storm that got in the way of our school van was the reason I and the rest of the were school forced to spend the night in a little church in the big city.

I was tired and sore and all I wanted was my own bed. All the wishing in the world couldn't give it to me, so that is why I have that little tale to tell of my night.

As I lay on that hard floor at 2:30 am wishing for sleep to come to me I began to wonder about how many people around the world lay on a floor for a bed. How many find the damp stone floor of prison cell to be their bed, just because they dared to say what they believed in?

Spoiled. Pampered. That's what I am. I can drink fresh water before bed and brush my teeth. I can write in my journal and talk with friends all the while knowing a nice fluffy pillow is waiting.

I don't feel the best right now, but last night probably will go down as one of the best nights ever. All because of hard floor that made me wonder what another person's world is like.

Source: simplygoodstuff.tumblr.com via Gretchen on Pinterest

Thankful today for having a over exhausted brain that could hardly make lunch.

...pain and pictures

I love pictures. The captured moment frozen in time forever. It’s not a simple image. It’s a portrait of depth that speaks a story and I can never ever get enough of them.  As much as I love pictures there are some I would rather not ever see. 

It was a little boy from our church. The smile would melt your heart, but the head that once held brown hair was what made me cry. 

Only a few weeks ago a family’s life was turned upside down by the one dreadful word of cancer.  I’m too far away to visit, so I read their blog. I read the words that tell how this little boy can’t walk around in the store because it makes him too tired. There are tales of blood transfusions and biopsies. There are pictures too. Sometimes you can’t see the little face because it’s covered up by a big white mask and sometimes it’s hard to recognize the little boy in the picture because his hair is gone.

It all seems so wrong. Why do lives have to be turned upside down for illness and injury?  Isn’t life cruel enough without having to add a horribly major glitch to our lives? 

There is a purpose in suffering, but when you are middle of such depths of pain it’s hard to see what the plan really is. 

We have a God that knows our struggles and sorrow like no other. Even when it may not appear so this same God is shaping everything just the way He thinks it should be and it’s all for His glory.

Because of this the words pain and hope can go together like the freshness of green grass in the spring. Both speaking of a promise of better things to come. 

Sometimes life stops for pain, but the hope of goodness of God never stops.

of lists

I like making lists. Somehow it gives me satisfaction to see that I have organized my multitude of things to do by putting them down on paper. Never mind that I usually don't follow my list and to be honest I don't often make lists. I only make them when I have so much to do that making a list is more fun then doing the work.

All this to say I made a list today. Not on paper, but a mental list of all the things I couldn't do. The things that I was not gifted in, but it would seem so many around me do have those talents.

 Some have the prevlidge of serving in music, and me well I can play one song not very perfectly with one hand. There are those who turn out a master piece of a paper and don't even bother to proof read. My writing appears that I wrote in a very frazzled state at 5 am. The truth is I painstakingly proof read it several times.

Making a list is a good way to start a pity party and a even better way to forget all about the many God has gifted me in.

God will let you use what He has given you and you will find joy in it. God will give grace to do all the things that are not a natural inclination.

Isn't God just faithful like that? 
 

Source: moneysavingmom.com via Gretchen on Pinterest

Today I'm thankful for a friend who reminds me of what I have forgotten.

life

I have written on this blog and too long. Maybe the blame can fall on the fact that college does have a way of making a person busy or maybe I can face the honest truth and just say I haven't been writing because I haven't been thinking.

I write because in the 18 hours or so of the day when I'm awake there is usually something that happens that I want to write down so I will never forget it. Because I'm very prone to forgetting... like the massive theology test I took yesterday. Please don't ask the definition for anything the need for me to remember it is gone.

I digress. Somehow I have gone through days without thinking about why I'm thankful. Why life is wonderful, beautiful, and just extraordinary. A person can get frustrated at their habit of forgetting or they can just simply change.

I lived 2 weeks without a laptop and it was awful. The dinosaur of a computer in the library was very faulty and of little help at all and it makes a person feel like a big pain to always be borrowing.  When my brother who is a computer extraordinaire fixed my computer from 11 hours away I couldn't have been more thankful for the skills God gave to my brother, but not to me.

I'm finished bragging on my brother now.

I'm thankful for all the questions the teacher didn't put on the test. The ones which I might not have remembered and could have made my day a terrible one. I'm really thankful too for the people who like to eat chocolate ice cream with me while we stuff  our brains with facts. Chocolate always helps that process you know.

I'm thankful that I'm not here to be turned into something I'm not, but to be shaped by the grace of God into what He prefers.

That has been a life of late. No I didn't write everything, because well sometimes my life is too complicated to write about. Being thankful should never ever be complicated. I don't think I understand why I forget...maybe because naturally we would rather be absorbed in ourselves?

Source: chinupbuttercu-p.tumblr.com via Chantel on Pinterest

Enough Said